For clarty’s sake, I separated this from the main topic of relationships, for a short mention.
Why are we attracted to someone?
There’s 4 elements I can see, after learning about it for a year:
- What we admire (things we want to do and they can do)
- Compatibility (values, somehow they’re written on their face, how we interact)
- The bond with the person (what we live together, how they make us feel)
- Their value as a mate (status, beauty, confidence, age - not the same for men or women)
And of course are they like our parents? Secure attachment styles are better but that may not be our own.
We may consider it normal to go with someone we are attracted to initially, as seems to be the societal norm nowadays. It has not always been the case. And of course we can choose who we want to date, it’s not just a matter of attraction.