Breakthrough.
Is neurodivergence a curse or a blessing in disguise?
Allow me to go back to India, the beginning of the journey, for that is where strength found me.
If you will to get a glimpse of the world of my mind.
In India I was under pressure from all sides, but thriving.
A whole new culture, a new world, the permanent chaos of sounds and smells there, everyone was a friend. I had to let go, so I could sleep in night buses, and to not be constantly worried.
In a way, the surrounding chaos reflected the one of my own mind, and that seems to have quieted down the thinking.
That said I’ll admit I was happy to get headphones at the end, it was starting to be too much. I see why they need bouddhism.
So many memories… They told me it was easy to date as a foreigner, showed me the apps, but I never cared for short term pleasure, I was too busy moving around freely, unpredictable, fast, strong. That said, Indian women sing beautifully. I just had no time for games, and I’m not interested in starting something that has no chance at a future.
Ah! How many times I’ve been asked that question. I guess I have my divergences to thank for being wise so early. That doesn’t mean life is no fun, I can turn my seriousness off if I care to.
Funnily enough I met a Don Juan again later, he was bringing a different women to his private room every night. Lust.
Being different is not an issue, all that’s required is to adapt to it.
I’m not sure how much I like the terms I found to qualify me, especially since I grew from them. I don’t like being definable.
But they are a great strength in today’s world, they allowed me to disconnect and think.
Well I also spent years trying to fill up my attention with complicated games in my free time.
There is no thought that is too weird for me, and my mind often splits from the moment to think about big questions.
Meditation allowed me to slow down, if I choose to. I don’t get overwhelmed, but the more tired I am, the less control I have over my mind. Thoughts mix and match in parallel.
And then there’s also the fact I can absorb so much from the present moment, but I’m used to toning it down. That’s how I learn quick.
So thanks to being different, I challenged every assumption I could, went deep within myself and what is worth it, and got free of as much of my culture’s thinking as I could, to have my own unique beliefs that can be challenged at any time.
Making sense of the world, so that I can travel it with my inner compass, without thinking so much all the time. But sometimes I need to go back to thoughts to make sense of everything.