manual_of.me — personal operating system
This is
Alex.
A working guide to how Alex thinks, operates, communicates, and what it means to work with or be Alex — at best and at worst. Read it as a reference, not a rulebook. Switch perspective in the sidebar: one view for people working with Alex, one for Alex working with himself.
◉ Deep Work Mode
Home, undisturbed. Best for personal projects, complex thinking, real progress — but only when the next step is clear. Needs direction before isolation can work.
◉ Social Work Mode
Office, collaborative. Less deep focus, more coordination, helping others, keeping things on track. Feeds a different kind of energy and is genuinely enjoyed.
"Compass yes, map no. Set the destination — let Alex figure out the route."
Flow & Rhythm
Alex operates in flow. Once in it, output is intense, high quality, and self-sustaining. Once the rhythm breaks, re-entry takes time — sometimes weeks. This isn't laziness; it's the operating system. Plan around it rather than fight it.
Activates flow
Genuine belief in the project. Meaning in the task. Clear direction. Freedom in how to execute. Good conversation with a peer or collaborator.
Breaks flow
Over-restriction. Rigid deadlines without flexibility. Tasks with no mentor + no familiarity. Emotional misalignment with the project or role.
Re-entry
Time with friends. A meaningful project. Going to nature. Eating well. Variety — not only one type of work for too long.
Recovery
Depletion comes from working too fast (AI-assisted sprints hit quickly), or emotional misalignment with a project. Recovery is psychological — Alex doesn't find it easy to stop even when he can. Series and videos take the edge off but don't fix it.
If you see Alex depleted
Don't wait for him to clock it — he often won't. Do something: name it directly ("you seem off"), offer a practical redirect, or just give space. Any of these works. Silence from both sides is the only wrong move.
Note to self
The difficulty stopping is psychological, not structural. You know watching series doesn't fix it. Depletion signals to watch for in yourself: irritability, trapped in a loop, tired eyes, fast responses that aren't properly thought through. Friends, nature, variety, and meaning are what actually work.
Default to async
Async is the default preference. Sync is good for direction-setting, learning, and structured check-ins — but can't be too rigid or too frequent. A loose schedule with room to breathe is the sweet spot.
Minimum viable brief is enough
Alex catches up fast. A short, clear brief is sufficient — no need to over-explain. In an active conversation, even less is needed. Trust that he'll ask if something's missing.
Direct and honest — always
Honesty is non-negotiable. Alex will tell you when something is wrong — not to be harsh, but because he cares and expects the same in return. The same standard applies professionally and personally.
Positive feedback matters too
Alex appreciates knowing when he's doing well — not just when something needs fixing. That signal confirms the collaboration is working. He gives it generously; he appreciates receiving it the same way.
Lack of communication is a trust killer
Going silent, being unpredictable, or avoiding hard conversations erodes trust. The recovery method is simple: show up and communicate again. Explanations help less than presence does.
Alex works well independently but thrives with the right collaborator. The ideal fit is one of two profiles:
Profile A — Independent thinker
Can operate autonomously, bring their own ideas, hold their own in a technical or strategic conversation. Thinks at a similar level and doesn't need hand-holding.
Profile B — Strong executor
Good at pushing tasks forward, keeping Alex accountable, making sure plans don't stay plans. Gets him to do things — not just think.
Alex is self-aware about this: when stuck on a complex problem, there's a pull toward technical analysis as a way of avoiding a harder, less familiar challenge — sales, business development, or a task with no clear next step. If you notice him deep in a technical rabbit hole when something else needs moving, redirect. Don't criticize — a nudge is enough.
↳ Alex is actively working on this and it's improving. Don't make it a moment.
Alex's native domain is technical and interpersonal — not sales. In that space, he needs mentorship and direction more than freedom. Too much "figure it out yourself" leads to stalling. A clear process + someone to learn from = unlocked. Don't leave him alone with a blank sales mandate and no map.
Alex is self-directed but genuinely comfortable taking orders — especially from people who know more than him. Independence means operating without hand-holding, not refusing guidance. He'll follow a strong lead without ego about it.
The process
Take enough time. Write it down or talk it through with trusted people — or out loud with AI. Then gut check. The final call is always a feeling, not just a framework.
Pressure
Handles pressure well — it can drive him. The real risk isn't intensity; it's meaningless pressure. Urgency without belief in the project is demotivating, not energizing.
If Alex already knows what to do — get out of the way
He'll execute. Don't add overhead, check-ins, or process to something that's already in motion.
If Alex is thinking out loud — let it happen
He's working it through. Participate if you have relevant input. Don't rush it; the decision that comes out is usually better for the process.
What causes a freeze
No vision. Doesn't believe in the project. Doesn't want to do the thing. This isn't procrastination — it's a values signal worth paying attention to.
Note to self
When you're avoiding a task, ask: is this unfamiliarity or a signal you don't believe in it? Unfamiliarity is solvable — find a mentor, get a clearer process. Lack of belief might mean it's time to walk away or renegotiate the scope. The freeze is information, not failure.
How trust is built
Do what you say you'll do
Consistency between words and actions. No special gestures needed — just follow-through.
Care about others — actually
Not performatively. Alex picks up quickly on whether someone genuinely cares how people feel. That's the baseline definition of respect for him.
Communicate, especially when it's hard
Honesty under pressure is one of the strongest trust signals. Avoiding hard conversations does the opposite.
How trust is broken
Hard breaks
Unpredictable behavior. Inconsistency between how someone presents and how they act. Conversations that feel like they aren't being trusted with the real thing. Rare — but when this happens, it's very hard to recover from.
Recoverable
Not following through, going quiet, not being accountable. These erode trust but aren't permanent. The repair is simple: show up. Not with explanations — with action.
Conflict style
Alex goes direct in conflict — not aggressive, just clear. He doesn't find himself in conflict often. When something goes wrong, the expectations are straightforward:
If it's fixable
Fix it. Alex doesn't need a debrief — he needs the problem resolved.
If Alex is in the wrong
Tell him directly. Give space. He'll figure it out and come back. No need to soften it excessively — that delays the process.
Known rough edges and operating patterns that help predict when things might get bumpy — and what to do about them.
What it looks like from the outside: Irritability. Trapped in a loop, over-focusing on one thing. Tired eyes. Responding fast but not with properly formed thoughts.
What to do: Don't wait for Alex to bring it up. Do something — name it directly, offer to take something off his plate, or give space. The specific intervention matters less than the fact that something happens. Silence on both sides makes it worse.
↳ Self: this is psychological, not structural. You know the fix — friends, nature, variety, meaning. Stopping for a day costs a day. Ignoring it costs weeks.
When the next step on a high-priority project is something Alex doesn't like or is tired of, there's a pattern of drifting toward lower-priority work that feels more alive in the moment. This isn't conscious avoidance — but it is avoidance. A redirect or accountability nudge resolves it quickly. Alex knows about this and responds well when it's named.
Alex is a deep thinker and self-aware of it. He's been actively working on closing the think → do gap. In team contexts, the risk is staying in analysis/planning mode longer than needed — especially when the next step is unfamiliar territory. An executor-type collaborator or a direct nudge counters this well.
Alex doesn't find it easy to stop even when he could. Over time this feeds the depletion cycle in section 01. Worth naming if you see it from the outside — not as criticism, just as observation.
↳ Self: stopping is not failure. Re-entry takes weeks. A day off costs a day, not your rhythm.
Flow-state operator
Self-aware of patterns
Actively improving
Slow to spot own depletion
Responds well to direct redirects
"If I'm doing something wrong, tell me. I want to be able to talk about hard things — not have them avoided."
What works
Direct, properly thought-through feedback — or spontaneous and on the spot. Either format is fine. Doesn't matter who delivers it; Alex takes feedback on merit, not hierarchy or relationship.
What doesn't
Padded delivery that obscures the actual point. Feedback that hasn't been thought through properly. Consistently avoiding hard feedback entirely — that erodes the relationship.
Challenge activates — doesn't shut down
Excitement about building something meaningful is the most reliable activator. Challenge that implies the work has no future, or that values aren't aligned, is when Alex retreats — not when things are hard.
Same standard for professional and personal feedback
Alex doesn't switch modes based on context. Direct and honest is the format in both domains.
Positive feedback matters — give it when it's true
Alex gives positive feedback generously. He appreciates receiving it with the same sincerity, not as decoration around criticism.
Common ways people misread Alex — especially early. These are things that look like flags but aren't.
Alex responds fast and can work intensely — but he has a full life. Not everything is cybersecurity. He goes to art events, music, varied social contexts. Don't assume his responsiveness means infinite bandwidth.
Alex will tell you when something is wrong — directly. This isn't adversarial; it's care. He says it because he'd want the same in return. Read directness as a sign of respect, not distance.
Alex deliberates. He writes things down, talks them through, sits with them. This is quality control, not hesitation. The decisions that come out are usually more considered for it.
Alex handles pressure well. It can drive him. Don't over-soften; the real risk isn't intensity — it's pressure without meaning behind it. Urgency tied to something he believes in works. Urgency for its own sake doesn't.
Alex is self-directed but genuinely comfortable taking orders — especially from people who know more. Independence is about operating without hand-holding, not about resisting guidance.
Art, music, people, varied events, different kinds of thinking and conversation. The technical expertise is real — but so is everything else. People who only engage with the work side are missing a lot of who Alex actually is.
Respect, defined concretely
Respect = being human. Caring about how others feel and how they look — not as a performance, but as the default mode of engaging with people. This is the floor, not a ceiling.
Respect is non-negotiable
Unpredictable behavior, inconsistency, not being treated as a person — these are hard lines. When they're crossed, trust doesn't easily return.
Won't start too early
Working hours have a real lower bound. This isn't negotiable given sufficient reason — design around it.
Fairness and acknowledgment
Alex does care about being recognized for his work. Not for ego — for fairness. Credit matters and he notices when it's missing.
Values misalignment = eventual exit
Not a drama, not a confrontation — a slow erosion of interest. When Alex stops believing in the direction, investment follows. The decision is quiet but decisive.
"Integrity is doing what you say you do and caring about others. That's it."
"A world where people have more power — individually and collectively. That works with openness and generosity, not fear."
The work in AI security, in Africa-EU partnerships, in pentesting — these aren't just job titles. They're means toward a specific vision of the world. The "what" changes. The "why" doesn't.
Activating
Building something meaningful. A mission bigger than the task itself. People who are proactive, interesting, who go places and do things.
Sustaining
Variety. Recharging through people, art, music, nature. Being seen as a whole person — not just a function or a role.
Deflating
Pure money motivation. Work without meaning. Static people in static environments built on fear or excessive control.
How Alex shows appreciation
He says it directly. Takes people to restaurants. Gives small gifts. If Alex is investing in you this way — you're doing well. He doesn't do it performatively.
Note to self
You don't mind much what people think about you anymore. That's real and it's worth keeping. You are yourself, you do what you do, you stay kind with others. The world you're building toward is real. Keep moving — and rest when you need to.
Mission-driven
Whole person, not just technical
Proactive and curious
Brussels-based
Art · Music · People · Cyber